What I Needed to Say

What I needed to say while

sitting beside you in class watching

you doodle black designs on your arm;

While walking behind you in the hall

trying not to act any different than anyone

else; While holding my breath in your presence,

hoping you can guess my thoughts, and yet

dreading your gruesome reaction.

What I needed to say while

watching you at lunch, my face

delicately turned away from you; While

complimenting your new favorite shirt

that you wore today and yesterday,

And the day before that and the week before that.

What I really needed to say was

you really need to take a shower.

Why'd You Have to Go and Let it Die?

Tears leave trails of red down their faces
like tiny drops of acid burning flesh.
And I laugh at their show of weakness and hurt.

We used to be so happy.

She yells. Furious. Aggravated.
And I laugh at the absolute honesty.
When was the last time you were so honest?

When we were very young.

It wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to know.
Nothing was supposed to change. I laugh at his stupidity.
How could he possibly think we could forgive and forget?

You used to say you loved us.

Time falls slowly, like the miniscule grains of an
hourglass. We're different. Stronger.
I can't help but laugh at your foolishness.

Why'd you have to go and let it die?

Life is new for us. Beautiful. Beauty-full.
Are you happy? Are you smiling?
Are you laughing? Because I am.

Case of the Missing Ring

[Scene opens on Detective and Wilson, each reading a newspaper by a fireside. Clothing suggests that this takes place during the late 1800's, early 1900's]

DETECTIVE
[Using a ridiculously fake English-accent.]
'Bout that time, eh chap?

WILSON
[Not looking up]
Right-o.

[Someone knocks on a door. Neither moves.]

WILSON
[Not looking up]
You going to get that?

DETECTIVE
[Makes a non-committal noise.]

WILSON
[Sighs and gets up.]
Well let's not both jump up at once...

[WILSON opens the door to a highly dressed, obviously pampered woman with a lot of gaudy jewelry and over-the-top make up. She pushed WILSON aside and over-dramatically rushes over to DETECTIVE.]

DETECTIVE
Is something wrong, Madame?

WOMAN
[Cries out dramatically.]
Something is terribly wrong! [WOMAN thrusts her left hand in DETECTIVE'S face and he gasps, horrified. WILSON walks over and looks at the hand.]

WILSON
[With a blank face.]
I don't see anything.

DETECTIVE
And that is precisely the problem, Wilson! This is terrible! Absolutely terrible!

WILSON
What's terrible? I don't see anything.

DETECTIVE
[Aghast.]
My God! Are you blind, man? Can't you see what is supposed to be there and is not?

WILSON
If it's supposed to be there and is not, how am I to see it?

WOMAN
[Sobs in despair.]

DETECTIVE
[Horrified.]
Think before you say something, you fool!

WILSON
[Confused and exasperated.]
I didn't do anythi-

DETECTIVE
[Turning pointedly to WOMAN.]
My deepest apologies, Madame. He's merely my apprentice. He doesn't realize what he's done. Your missing ring – this is exactly what Jewl would do!

WILSON
A missing ring? Oh, I see! Are you sure you didn't just lose it, Madame?

WOMAN
[Clearly ignoring WILSON.]
Who?

DETECTIVE
[Spitefully.]
Jewl. The most infamous of jewelry thieves. I've been after him for years – but he's always managed to slip through my fingers.

WILSON
But, Detective – Jewl hasn't stolen anything in years-

WOMAN
Why would he do such a thing?

DETECTIVE
I don't know... But I will find out! Jewl will not get away with this! Come, Wilson! We're going to pay a dear old friend of ours a visit...

[WILSON, knowing he will be ignored no matter what, just sighs.]

[Scene goes black for a moment and re-opens on DETECTIVE and WILSON in pursuit of JEWL. JEWL is wearing a jogger's outfit and headphones, completely unaware that he is being chased.]

DETECTIVE
Faster, Wilson! We don't have time to lose him!

WILSON
[Extremely out of shape and breathing hard.]
I'm – just – you go – I – catch up-

DETECTIVE
[Runs ahead and lunges for JEWL, but JEWL unexpectedly changes directions and DETECTIVE runs into a brick wall. JEWL keeps jogging, unaware.]
[Mutters] Curses...
WILSON
[Jogging up, still breathing hard]
You... fine?
DETECTIVE
[Doesn't answer and continues pursuit]
[Catches up to JEWL and grabs his arm, spinning him around.]
Aha! Caught you!

MAN
[Looks at DETECTIVE oddly]
Pardon..?
DETECTIVE
[Shouts and shakes fist at nothing in particular]
Curses!
MAN
[Walks away quickly]

DETECTIVE
Jewl! You will not thwart me!

WILSON
[Is exhausted and walks to DETECTIVE]
Not... him?
DETECTIVE
[Doesn't even notice WILSON and runs off]

WILSON
[Bent over, hands on knees, panting]
My god...

DETECTIVE
[Finally catches up with the real JEWL and tackles him]
Ha! Thought you could escape, did you?

JEWL
What are you doing, man?

DETECTIVE
[Elated.]
I've been in pursuit of you for three blocks!

JEWL
What on earth for?

DETECTIVE
You've been stealing jewelry again! I won't let you get away this time!

JEWL
[Annoyed.]
Are you crazy, man? I haven't stolen anything in over ten years!

DETECTIVE
[Face falls.]
What do you mean – you haven't stolen in ten years? But, I thought-

JEWL
[Pushes DETECTIVE off him.]
You thought wrong, you fool! Now let me be! I'm busy!
[Jogs off.]

WILSON
[Catches up to DETECTIVE and collapses, breathing hard.]
Did we – get him-?

DETECTIVE
[Extremely disappointed.]
No, Wilson, we did not.

[DETECTIVE dejectedly walks away. Scene goes black for a moment and opens on a fancy looking house where DETECTIVE rings the doorbell. FIANCEE answers the door.]
FIANCEE
Can I help you?

DETECTIVE
Afternoon, good sir. I'm afraid I have some terrible news-

WOMAN
[Appears in the doorway.]
Oh, no, Detective! It was all just a big mistake!

DETECTIVE
[Bemused.]
A mistake, Madame?

WOMAN
Yes, sir. You see – my Fiancée had taken the ring without my knowledge to get it cleaned before our wedding tomorrow. [WOMAN holds out her hand to reveal a shiny, huge and gaudy diamond ring that occupies most of the focus of her hand.]

FINACEE
[Smiling]
Thanks for your help anyways, Detective.
[Closes the door.]

WILSON
[Annoyed.]
They're not even going to invite us to their wedding? After all the trouble we went through?

DETECTIVE
It's all right, Wilson. They're getting married tomorrow. It's a happy time for them – they care little for the affairs of others. And it won't matter in the end anyways – she can't take it with her when she goes.

WILSON
[Is mildly shocked.]
Are you really just going to let them be?

DETECTIVE
[Aghast]
Why, of course not, Wilson! We need to eat too! And I believe the price for our services has just tripled.